3 Science Backed Hacks to Build Instant Trust
We’ve all been in that awkward "elevator silence" or a networking event where we feel like an outsider. Maybe it’s because the anxiety of social pressures to have the perfect things to say, or you don’t feel you can really contribute to the conversation or whatever it is that causes us to have a mini panic or doubt our ability to connect meaningfully.
Most of us have at some point felt this way, and the good news is there are a few simple cheat-codes to overcome the social anxiety of connecting with strangers and building trust on the first meeting.
As a massage therapist, I have about 5 minutes to make a stranger trust me enough to let me treat them. Here are three powerful social hacks I’ve used.
The Ben Franklin Effect.
This is grounded in psychology—specifically Leon Festinger’s work on cognitive dissonance. It’s the idea that we grow to like people because we do things for them. Our brain thinks, "I’m helping this person, so I must like them!"
In a meeting or a grocery line, you can flip this by asking for a tiny favor or offering a small gesture. Even something as simple as asking someone to "hold your spot for a second" or holding a door open eases tension and creates a subtle opening for trust.
2. The Transparency Forecast or The Illusion of Transparency
Its the idea of calling out your elephant in the room. We do this to eliminate the feeling you may get, wich is, that other people can sense your internal emotional state. And also the guesswork from the other party trying to figure you out.
In this instance its being open about your nervousness or anxiety of meeting new people. It lets others know your internal state and gives them the room to also connect with the feelings of nervousness. You are then seen as predictable and safe, not someone others have to try and figure out.
3. The Mirroring effect. A tactic founded by FBI negotiators
The goal is to make the other person feel heard without you having to carry the conversational load.
When someone finishes a thought, simply repeat the last two or three words they said as a question. For example, if they say, "I’ve had a really long day at work," you respond with, "A long day at work?" They will naturally expand on their story, feeling deeply understood, while you get a moment to breathe and listen.
As a licensed massage and corrective exercise therapist, having the ability to connect with strangers within the few first minutes, these social hacks have made it that much easier to build trust with clients and patients. If you find social situations give you a sense of anxiety or nervousness, try one or all three of these social cheat hacks the next time you’re meeting someone for the first time or even the second time.
A cheat sheet with hacks in everyday situations to help you build trust instantly